Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Who's In The Car with Sophie MonkYoui

Who's In The
Its Sophie Monk
Im kind of a big deal! Today were getting to know Australias
sweetheart Sophie Monk a whole lot better. Whacka whacka whacka whacka WOOO
At Youi they get to know you better For this episode of Whos In The Car
Ive had a bit of work done on the Yaris Replaced most of it with a Holden, just to make sure we had something as iconically Australian as our guest today. Lets start the show. Hey Katie
Sophie Monk! I am so excited.
Same.

How are you?
Ready for a drive. This is a big day for me,
like when we become best friends in a few minutes were going to have trouble telling us apart So I just thought... Ive always wanted to wear a sash. World Peace
I got one too Whats yours say?
Mine says Sophies BFF.

Oh, I like that.
I know its a bit forward and everything. Just thought, I know were going to get
on. I feel it to actually.
OK, here we go. Where are we off to?
It doesnt matter, its more a kidnapping than anything.
Oh, good.

You were born in London?
Yeah, England. Im pretty glad you got out, can you imagine how annoying your voice would sound by now?
Or my teeth would look? Yeah your teeth, would be falling out of your head left, right and centre. So youre really hot as a blonde.
Thanks, so are you. Oh, stop.
You are.

Stop. Go on.
Youre beautiful. You look so young. Thank you, thank you.
Whats your trick? Um, my trick is boredom.
Not many facial expressions? Yeah, it gives me no creases on my face.
Oh good one.

Because Im never happy. You used to do opera and stuff
Yeah I was a good opera singer. Pop Im not so good at.
But pop is where youve done most of your stuff. Yeah.

How does that work?
Thats why it didnt sell. I thought like, if I wrote a song maybe you
could sing it? Would you be up for that?
Give it a go. Heres the lyrics.
Oh wow, were really doing this. Oh its a rap.
Yeah it a rap.

I feel like youd be really good at it.
Come on. Ready? Yo I'm Sophie..... Its not easy.
Yo Im Sophie Monk and Im here to say Im single mofos, from today
Im going celibate, my privates are on lock Stop sending me DMs, youre gonna get
blocked All the smooth talkers please shut your trap
This bogan from the Goldy is sick of your chat
Whacka whacka whacka whacka WOOO. Nailed it.
I feel like I did to.

If its a success I say we split the royalties
70/40 my way. Oh OK, fair enough you wrote it.
Like if it would expand this program a bit more
If we could talk about politics and stuff. Oh god no. You lost me.
What about overseas, like, that guy, Kim Jong Un or something?
Yeah.

Do you feel like hes a really cruel dictator
or just a misunderstood little fatty? I think hes just a chubby checker who couldnt
get chicks at school and now hes got power. You were engaged to one of the Madden boys
is that correct? Yep.
Please tell me it wasnt the one named after a dog?
Which one, Benji? Benji. (Whistles)
Were you? Yeah.
Did you do that to him? (Whistles)
No I didnt think about that. In the bedroom.

(Whistles)
Thats how you tell them apart. Because we cant tell them apart.
Yeah theyre very similar looking. They look exactly the same.
Thats twins for you though. They tend to do that.
They do.

You need a job. Everyone needs some sort of job. Like most of the time I dont have a job.
I work at night, for thirty minutes. What?
Doing comedy.

Oh OK, sorry I thought you were doing something else. I was like, times are tough.
It may end up that way. Youre looking for regular guy right?
Like an everyday battler. I like a little bit of pudge.
Yeah, I like a little bit of that to.

And I want to be hotter than them, in the
morning. Yeah.
I dont want to wake up and have a beautiful specimen.
Yeah and hes just looking at himself in the mirror.
Yeah, they do that. Yep. Someone whos just like Oh my god you
are so much hotter than me.

Im not. But inside Im thinking
Yeah I am. Ok, so youre hosting a new show?
Yeah. On Channel Nine, called Love Island?
Yes.

Have you hosted a show before?
No, I dont think I have actually. No?
Well what I was thinking is that you should probably practice hosting my show.
Whats your show? Ah, youre on it.
Oh, this one? Yeah.
Oh, so Ill host and interview you? Yep.
Ok. So hey Katie, Im really excited.
Good. Um, how are you?
How am I? Ok.

Its probably a bit personal.
Alright. Do you want to start with something a bit
more general? Ok, um
When did you lose your virginity? Ok, so I feel like that was good, you did
pretty good at hosting. Yeah thank you. Got a bit weird quickly.
It did get weird.

I like that though, when you interview someone
and they open up. Yeah.
So do you feel like youre good at setting people up?
What makes you feel like youre qualified to play cupid?
How many people have I dated? I mean it doesnt work for me, but Im
an experienced dater. Thats a good point.
I just made out that Im a slapper didnt I.
Im not a slapper. Well, I dont think Australians have
heard of Love Island.

Not all.
And you need a market here right? Thats right.
So I thought what we could do, is I found this thing on the side of the road.
Oh crap! I just thought.
I thought it was a weapon. What is it? Its got a torch in it.
Oh its a megaphone. Its a megaphone, yeah.
(Siren sound) Oh crap sorry!
Oh my god I think I s*#t my pants. Talk in it.
(Siren sound) Its got a lot of buttons.
Oh you just talk in it.

Stop pressing them!
Hello? No. Oh we got someone here.
What about this girl? Hey guys, its Sophie Monk, Im kind of
a big deal. Oh youre stopping while were doing it?
Tell them how much money you make. Tell them about the nudity, tell the kids.
Hey.

Im not saying that to children. What does your sash say?
It says Princess. You are a princess.
Oh thanks. Bit of a rough one, but thanks.

I just thought Id tell you, you look great
today. Shes like f*@k off
Love Island, check it out, I dont know when its airing, youd have to google
it. So I feel like that was some good spruiking.
Yeah. I think people know about Love Island now.
We reached quite a few people.

Yeah. But Ive got to pick up my kids from
school, and I dont have a life And you have to go to a sexy island so
Oh, I havent been laid for ages. Its getting too long.
We just got to know Sophie Monk a whole lot better. At Youi they get to know you better It could save you lots on your home and car insurance.

Hmm, Sophie still hasnt accepted my friend request. Shes probably just busy.
You wont have this problem with the folks at Youi though.
Theyll take the time to get to know you better.
And it could save you lots on your home and car insurance.
So click the link to start a quote online or find out more.
Still nothing..

No comments:

Post a Comment